Caldos
by Florence2410UK
Summary: After their encounter with Shinzon everything is about to change for the crew of The Enterprise. Before she leaves Jean Luc offers to accompany Beverly to Caldos to finish something that started many years before.


_How do I love thee, let me count the ways.  
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height  
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight  
For the ends of being and ideal grace.  
I love thee to the level of every day's  
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.  
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.  
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.  
I love thee with the passion put to use  
in my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.  
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose  
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,  
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and if God choose,  
I shall but love thee better after death._

 _Elizabeth Barrett Browning_

Prologue

When he finally found her she was sitting up on the hill behind the house watching the sunset. It was a beautiful spot, high up overlooking the village below and in the distance one could see the moors covered in purple heather. Now that the storms had lifted it was a magnificent view. He could certainly understand the colonists' love of the world they had created on Caldos. He could also understand why Beverly had always regarded it as a haven, a place to retreat to when she needed time and space to think. He hoped that the events of the last few days would not change that.

They had not spoken about what had happened yet. He knew that she had been avoiding him and he was uncertain of whether he should disturb her. But The Enterprise would be leaving tomorrow or the day after and if they didn't talk soon he was concerned that she might never talk about what had happened. He approached her quietly and when he was a few feet away he said her name.

Beverly turned, looked at him and then looked away. He said her name again and sat down next to her. He was close to her, close enough to reach out and touch her, but he held back uncertain of how she would respond. Finally she leaned over and laid her head on his shoulder. Then he put his arm around her as she began to silently cry. They sat for what seemed an age until finally the crying stopped and she spoke.

"Thank you Jean Luc. Thank you for coming for me. If you hadn't come I would have been lost to him for ever."

"You don't have to thank me. It is what friends are for, they look out for each other."

"But I was so awful to you Jean Luc. I said terrible things. What must you have thought when you saw me rush head long into a love affair when only a few weeks ago I was telling you that I was afraid to…"

"Beverly" he cut her off gently "you have nothing to apologise for. You were being manipulated by a force that was beyond your control. As for what happened after Kes Prytt, well I have waited a long time and I am prepared to continue waiting. There is nothing you could ever do that would change my feelings towards you."

Beverly sat up and looked into his eyes. What she saw reassured her of his sincerity and she leaned forward and kissed his cheek. He reached to gently wipe the tears away from her cheeks and he smiled at her. She smiled back and they stood up together to walk back down the hill.

He held her hand all the way, not wanting to let go of her, or let her out of his sight. He had spoken the truth a few minutes ago. He didn't hold her responsible for what had happened with Ronin, nor did he think that she had deliberately set out to hurt him. But, if he was honest with himself he had to admit to a certain amount of shock over the way in which Beverly had so easily been prepared to throw away everything to pursue her affair. He also felt more than a little embarrassed at what he had witnessed through the cottage window the night he had gone to find her.

She had been right that night. He had been jealous, just as he had been jealous of Odan and just as he had been jealous of Jack. He was jealous of any man who Beverly had allowed to freely love her. What he wouldn't have given to have been the one making Beverly sigh with pleasure. But it was no use wishing that things between them were different. She had made it clear that she was not ready and so he was resigned to things remaining as they had been for the foreseeable future.

For her part Beverly had carefully avoided talking about what she was certain Jean Luc had seen that night. She was mortified to have been caught engaged in such an intimate act and yet she was a little curious as to what Jean Luc might have felt when he saw her through the window. Deep down she wondered if she had been able to let go of her inhibitions and fears with Ronin why was she not able to overcome her fear of giving in to what she felt for Jean Luc. She had to admit that she was attracted to him and not only that but she knew that her feelings ran much deeper. Without a shadow of a doubt she knew that she loved him.

His feelings for her revealed through the mind link they had experienced on Kes Prytt had only confirmed what she had long suspected but never dared voice. If only it were not so complicated. She had given in to her fears the night he had asked her if they could try to explore those feelings. It was not how she had expected the evening to end. When she had dressed for dinner that night she had imagined that she and Jean Luc were about to take that final step but when it had come to it she had fled. She was filled with regret and uncertain of what to do to change things.

A few hours later they both transported back to The Enterprise and he walked with her back towards her quarters. Her belongings had already been returned so it was almost as if the past few days had been but an oddly unsettling dream from which she had awoken. When they reached the doors of her quarters she smiled at Jean Luc and took his hand.

"Thank you again Jean Luc, for everything."

He smiled at her and as she turned he said "Can I call by later to check on you?"

She turned back too him "Of course although I don't expect that I will be very good company for a few days."

"I'll take my chances" he replied and finally letting go of her, he turned away and walked off down the corridor.

Chapter 1

Beverly looked across the room and smiled at her captain as the doors to his Ready Room slid open and saw him return her smile as he sat back in his chair. She walked towards his desk and perched on the side of it folding her arms across her chest.

"How's it going?" she asked

"Will just came in a few minutes ago to say goodbye. I saw Deanna earlier this morning."

"I know" she replied "I've seen them both too."

Silence.

"How about you?" he finally asked looking at her "Are you packed up yet?"

Beverly nodded her reply "Almost. I've a day or two yet to get things organised."

Silence again.

He stood and moved towards the window looking out into the wide expanse of space. They were sitting in dock at the moment as the ship was undergoing repair following their recent encounter with Shinzon. He was awaiting the arrival of his new command staff and of course orders. It would be few weeks though. Will and Deanna were going today, Data of course had already gone forever and Beverly, he paused, well she would be leaving too. He was pleased for her of course. She had a second chance to lead Starfleet Medical. She would have been foolish to turn it down. However he was going to miss her dreadfully.

Beverly sat and watched him. She had something to ask him but she wasn't sure how to quite broach the subject. For all their deep and long held friendship there were certain boundaries they had kept to over the years and she was about to breach one.

Finally she spoke.

"Jean Luc I wanted to ask you something."

"Oh?" he replied turning to her.

"You remember my Nana's house, on Caldos?"

He nodded.

"Well it seems that the caretaker passed away recently and the house has no-one to take care of it. I need to go back and finally sort out the rest of Nana's affairs and make a decision about what to do about it. I have a few weeks of leave accrued and thought maybe now would be a good time to go before I take up my new post."

Jean Luc nodded in agreement "Yes, it probably would, as I doubt you are going to have much time for the foreseeable future. Starfleet Medical, it's a big job."

"It's just," she paused looking down, acutely embarrassed all of a sudden. "I haven't been back since - " and then she couldn't go on.

"Ah" he said

There was a long silence. Jean Luc patiently waited. But when she didn't speak he looked away.

Finally he asked "When will you go?"

"In a couple of days" she replied.

Jean Luc walked back towards her and put his hand on her shoulder. "Beverly," he said quietly "I have some leave owing and some time while the repairs are being done. Would you like me to come with you?"

She looked at him, relief in her eyes, and said "Please."

He smiled, nodded and then he pulled her close and held her. He felt her arms go round his body and gently squeeze him. Then he patted her back and let her go.

"We can go in my yacht," he said cheerfully hoping to lighten the mood "It will be nice trip. A chance to unwind a bit."

She reached out and rubbed his arm and smiled at him "Thank you Jean Luc."

Then she leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. "Don't forget to pack your thermals though. It can be a bit chilly in the Highlands at this time of year."

As he chuckled, she turned and left him to go pack her things.

The journey to Caldos was uneventful and due to the comfort of the yacht quite pleasant. The two of them passed the time chatting, reading and listening to music. This was the first time in years they had spent that much time together. Jean Luc was glad that he had offered to accompany her and Beverly was relieved and thankful he was with her.

They had never spoken of the events that had taken place on Caldos following her grandmother's death. Not since they had sat on the hill overlooking the house all those years ago and he had held her as she had cried. The affair with Ronin had taken her months to get over and much counselling but she had never talked to him about it. Apart from anything else it would have meant talking about what he had seen that night through the window when he had come to find her and neither of them wished to open that particular can of worms. It was all far too complicated and so they both had remained silent on the subject.

The first few days on Caldos also passed uneventfully. It was a peaceful little backwater in the galaxy. Very little happened there and the pace of life was slow. It was the perfect place to unwind and relax. Beverly had more than expected to sort out and so Jean Luc had been left to his own devices. He spent time exploring the colony, walking on the moors and through the woods, finding all its beauty spots. One day at her suggestion they went for a picnic. Setting off late in the morning they hiked up over the hill at the back of the house and then down into the next valley. It was a beautiful autumn day and the leaves were in their full glory. Shades of amber, russet and red surrounded them. It was quiet in the woods. It was as though they had the whole planet to themselves. As they hopped across a stream Beverly noticed a clearing that would be just perfect for their picnic.

Whilst he got the picnic set out she paddled in the stream. He watched her as the sunlight caught her hair picking out its highlights, the subtle shades of red and gold glinting in the dappled light. At moments like this it seemed to him that the planet they were on stopped spinning and time seemed to stand still. He was mesmerised by her beauty. All of a sudden she turned and caught him staring at her. He quickly looked away as she came back towards him.

"Lunch is ready" he said as she approached.

They both sat on the picnic rug and ate the bread, cheese and ham they had brought with them. They each had a glass of wine and then she laid down in the sunshine, her head on his lap and his back against a tree.

"What are you reading?" she asked

"Sonnets" he replied

"Ah, would you read to me? I love to hear you read."

So he began to read.

She was surprised. She had been expecting Shakespeare but what she heard was Elizabeth Barrett Browning.

"How do I love thee, let me count the ways" he read and as she listened she became acutely aware of her own heartbeat.

As the poem finished she opened her eyes and saw that he was not looking at her. He was not looking at the book. The book was next to him on the grass and he was looking away across the clearing. It was so quiet that when the breeze fluttered through the trees she shivered. Beverly sat up. She turned so that she was facing him and she put her arm across his outstretched legs. With her other hand she reached out and touched his cheek.

"Jean Luc, what is it?"

He turned his head slightly to look at her and then he said "Don't you know? Beverly you must know?"

She looked into his eyes and then closing hers she leaned forward and kissed him gently. As she broke off she heard him sigh "Please Beverly, couldn't we just try. I can't bear it any longer."

She smiled and kissed him again and she felt as his arms moved around her and pulled her to him. She could hear as the blood began to rush in her ears. He took her breath away with the intensity of his kiss. It seemed to last for an age although in reality it was only a minute before they parted.

When it was finished she whispered "Jean Luc, can we go back to the house?" and he nodded and let go of her.

She stood and then held out her hand to him to help him up. Together they packed away the picnic and set off back. As they climbed back up the hill the sky began to darken and the wind to stir the heather. The first few spots of rain began falling as they descended the hill towards the house and then finally the heavens opened and they found themselves running to the door. By the time they were inside they were both wet. Beverly headed straight upstairs for towels and blankets and Jean Luc stripping off his shirt began to light a fire. By the time Beverly came down again she had changed into a cotton nightgown and her hair was beginning to dry in curls around her face.

Jean Luc stood up and as she caught sight of him her she felt the breath catch in her throat. He turned to look at her. She moved towards him and put the blankets down on the chair. Her eyes never left his face for an instant. She reached out to him and ran her hands up his arms and then slowly across his chest. She lifted her face up to his and they kissed again. It was gentle and lingering and full of love. He took her hand and led her to the fire and they sat down in front of it facing each other, both hardly breathing, both scared that the moment might pass.

Finally she spoke.

"Jean Luc, it has been a while since -" she couldn't finish and looked down at her hands.

He paused and then understood her meaning.

"When was the last time?" he asked

She looked at him then "Well, discounting Ronin, the last was Odan"

He looked at her and she looked away feeling just a little awkward.

"Beverly, it has been far longer than that for me and besides," he smiled and put his fingers under her chin, turning her head towards him "you could never be anything less than perfect to me. Let me love you and you will never doubt it"

This time when he kissed her she knew that she loved this man with all her heart, with every fibre of her being and that all other loves paled into insignificance.

The flames of the fire began to dance and light up the room around them making their skin glow as they removed what was left of each other's clothing. Finally they knelt naked in front of each other. This time when they kissed each opened up to the other and their bodies seemed to melt together. They were perfectly formed for each other as though they fitted together to make a perfect whole. As he kissed and stroked her body he whispered poetry and endearments that made her cry. He caught her tears with kisses and pulled her onto his lap so that she was astride him. Then with his forehead touching hers and staring straight into her eyes he gently entered her and sighed as she closed around him.

They were still for just a moment and then as she bent down to capture his lips he began to move within her and she shuddered with pleasure at the feel of him. How could they have been so foolish to keep each other at arms' length for so many years? He was her heart and soul and she was his. They moved in perfect unison towards the inevitable climax and when it came it was as if the sun itself had exploded into a million other stars.

As they lay together afterwards under the blankets, their arms around each other, watching the dying embers of the fire, neither spoke. They had no need of words at this moment.

Chapter Two

It was chilly when she awoke. The fire had gone out and it was still dark. She wasn't sure what time it was. She could hear Jean Luc's quiet breathing in her ear and feel his arm wrapped over her. She was curled up against him, her back against his chest and his legs curled up under hers. She had slept well, better than she had slept in years, but now she was wide awake. She turned to look at Jean Luc and as she moved he murmured in his sleep and turned onto his back. He looked so peaceful. She did not want to wake him. Quietly she got up and pulled the blankets back over him. She looked for her nightgown. It was lying on the floor where it had fallen the previous evening. Lifting it up and putting it on she smiled to herself at the thought of what had happened in this room just a few short hours before.

Never in her wildest dreams or most vivid fantasies had she thought that Jean Luc and she could be capable of such passion. She knew that their attraction to each other was strong and she knew that over the years it had taken more and more effort to control their feelings. At one point they had avoided each other for a while, each troubled by feelings that they were too frightened or guilty to face. No man, not even Jack whom she had loved very deeply, had ever made her feel the way Jean Luc had. Their love making had revealed a side to him that she had only ever glimpsed before. When he had entered her and looked deeply into her eyes she had seen his soul. As he had moved within her she had felt herself leave her body until she seemed to float on a rising tide of emotion that ultimately had crashed around her in wave upon tumultuous wave of undulating passion and pleasure. He had cried out her name over and over again as he had released himself deep inside her and held her tightly to him as if he never wanted to let her go. They had both cried and then they had made love again this time more urgently and ardently than before. Their coupling this second time was so intense that when it was finished neither could speak. They had fallen asleep still joined.

She walked to the window and pulled the curtain back a little. It was beginning to get light now. Beverly wondered what the morning would bring. Last night had been magical but today there would be decisions to make about the future. She didn't want to leave him. Having finally become lovers the thought of being apart from him for even just a few days made her feel sick. They might not have a choice though. She was about to start a new posting, he was awaiting orders that would probably take him deep into space and far away from Earth for several months. They had left it so late, perhaps too late.

She walked into the kitchen and taking the kettle to the tap she filled it with water. Lighting the stove she put it on the ring and waited for it to boil. She had just poured the tea into her cup when she heard movement from the room next door and then Jean Luc appeared. He smiled when he saw her and moving close to her he took her in his arms and gently kissed her. Only then did he speak.

"I wondered where you were. It felt so cold when I woke up. I thought maybe I had dreamed last night."

"No," she replied kissing him again "you weren't dreaming."

"You are happy aren't you?" he asked a worried expression on his face "I, I mean, it was _" his voice trailed off as he dropped his arms and took hold of her hands.

She squeezed them and looked into his eyes. "Jean Luc it was wonderful, you were wonderful."

She kissed him again, pouring everything she had into it in an attempt to make him believe her. As they parted they both smiled. "Tea?" she asked indicating the pot. He nodded and they sat down.

As they drank their tea they quickly slipped into gentle, easy conversation. They had after all been doing this for years. There was no awkwardness between them. It was lighter now. The sun had risen and begun to fill the room with early morning light. Beverly reached across the table and put her hand on his. She stood up, walked around him and trailed her hand across his shoulders. Then she bent down and whispered into his ear.

"Jean Luc, let's go back to bed."

She took his hand as he stood up and led him to the bottom of the stairs. Slowly they climbed up towards the bedroom and once inside she turned and shut the door, shutting the world out. As he took her in his arms spinning her around in a delicate dance towards the bed she blocked all other thoughts from her mind. Later they would talk; later they would take decisions; later they would return to reality. But here and now there was only this.

Later they discussed staying a little longer on Caldos than they had intended, they were both reluctant to leave to return to their respective duties. Beverly wanted to ask for more time to sort out her grandmother's affairs, Jean Luc had weeks of accrued leave that he had never taken, so they had took the decision to stay.

The few extra days they spent together here in this remote corner of the galaxy were idyllic. They slipped very easily into their roles as lovers and neither could quite believe that they had wasted so much time and effort resisting the inevitable for so long. They walked, they swam, they read, they talked, they cooked and ate together and above all they loved. The days and nights blended together seamlessly as they revelled in each other's company. However, before long they both knew that they had to face up to their responsibilities and think about the future and returning.

One afternoon as she stood outside in the garden Beverly thought about the future. It wasn't going to be easy. She had a new job based on Earth and soon The Enterprise was due to leave space dock for several months of deep space travel. She had been left behind too often before when she had been married to Jack. In truth they had spent more time apart than together in the few short years they were married. She did not want that for her and Jean Luc, they had wasted too many years already.

They had not talked about the future in any concrete way. They had both been avoiding the inevitable difficult conversation. Jean Luc was an explorer at heart, being with him meant roaming the galaxy and her new post was on Earth. She did not know what to do and anyway he hadn't asked her to stay with him. It all seemed so complicated now as she thought about it. Far more complicated than it seemed when they were lying together in bed or walking hand in hand across the moor or sitting under a tree in the woods reading. At times like this it seemed so simple.

As she stood looking out over the highlands of Caldos lost in her own thoughts, she didn't hear Jean Luc come up behind her. He slipped his arms around her and kissed the back of her neck. She leaned back against him and sighed.

"What are we going to do Jean Luc?" she asked.

There was a long pause before she heard him speak.

"What do you want Beverly?" he replied turning her round to face him and looking into her eyes. "If you tell me I will do everything in my power to make it so."

She closed her eyes and leaned in towards him and kissed him softly.

"I want to stay with you forever and never leave your side. I am just not sure that they will let us be" she finally said.

Jean Luc took her hand and they walked back towards the house. They sat down on the bench just near the door and he put his arm around her. She leaned into him and they sat in comfortable silence.

Then she heard the words she had longed to hear from the first night they had spent together. He spoke quietly into her ear. It was just a whisper.

"Beverly, there is a simple answer to this problem. The answer is this my love. Marry me."

She turned to look at him and he spoke again "My heart, my soul, marry me."

She whispered back her answer and just like that everything fell into place.

The following day they were married. Jean Luc had not wasted any time in speaking to the colony's superintendent who had agreed to perform the ceremony. It had been a brief affair with just five people present including the bride and groom. Jean Luc had asked her if she wanted to wait until they returned to Earth. He was worried that she might want a large ceremony and regret rushing things. But Beverly didn't care about any of that. She said they had frittered away too many years as it was and she didn't want to wait any longer. If he was certain then she was certain and they should be married as soon as possible.

Afterwards they had walked back to the house through the woods. It was a beautiful day. The sunlight fell in dappled patches along the path and a slight breeze rustled through the trees. The leaves were just beginning to fall and the autumn air had little chill to it. As they strolled hand in hand along the path they spoke quietly of what the future might bring. They thought about it and agreed on a course of action. Beverly would take up her post at Starfleet Medical. Jean Luc insisted upon this. Her career was important and she should not give it up to follow him. He would go on one last mission and inform Starfleet that he would finally take up the post at the academy that they had been trying to entice him with for years.

For the rest of the day they finished packing up the house. Beverly had asked the superintendent to find new tenants for it. What was left of her Nana's things would be taken back to Earth on the next transporter ship that arrived at the colony. Jean Luc made a light supper as Beverly tried to send a message to Wesley and also to Starfleet Medical to let them know when she would be arriving back. The journey home would take several days even at warp speed.

They ate in the kitchen by candlelight and when they were finished he cleared away as she went upstairs. It wasn't long before he heard the sound of the bath running. He turned, blew out the candles and then set off up the stairs to find his wife.

She was lying back in the warm water, her eyes closed. The gentle lamplight in the bathroom caught the subtle golden highlights in her hair. Her shoulders were sticking up a little out of the water and he could see the freckles on her skin that he loved so much. Her beauty took his breath away as he stood in the doorway watching her.

She opened one eye and smiled.

"Jean Luc, why don't you get in?" she said and she closed her eye again.

He smiled and began to undress. As he walked over to her she leaned forward sliding along the bath to make room for him behind her. He put his legs on either side of her and lowered himself into the water. She leaned back against him and he put his arms around her. They lay in silence for a while with the water and soapsuds lapping against them. Then she opened her eyes and sat forward. Reaching for a sponge she passed it over her shoulder and waited for him to take it. He began to gently rub the soap filled sponge in a circular motion on her back and then he squeezed the warm water to rinse her skin. She shuddered as the water flowed down her back.

She carefully spun around with her legs bent up under her chin and then settled herself facing him, her legs around him as he moved forwards towards her. Taking the sponge from him she began to wash his shoulders and chest. He inched closer to her and then leaned forward and kissed her pulling her to him and lifting her slightly up out of the water. He kissed and caressed her breasts and when he entered her she sighed and closed her eyes. They moved together in perfect timing so attuned now were they to each other and as they spiralled upwards towards oblivion they both cried out at the same time then shuddered to a finish.

Afterwards, when they were dry he picked her up and carried her to the bed. The covers were already pulled back. He gently put her down and then climbed in bed beside her. They pulled up the covers and lay back in each other's arms.

Finally she spoke.

"Promise me Jean Luc. Promise me that when you go, you will come back."

"Always" he whispered into her ear and then smiling they both closed their eyes and slept.


End file.
